Wellness

I Didn’t Change My Mind, You Just Weren’t The One

Recent reports have confirmed that congratulations are in order for TV Host, Jeannie Mai and Rapper, Jeezy as they are expecting their first child together. While Jeezy is not a first time parent, his new wife Jeannie Mai is expecting her first child.  Previous reports have stated that in Jeannie’s previous marriage she did not want to have children at all.  However, she has changed her decision making with her second husband. This decision is turning heads with many.

As I reflect on my own relationships the realization of “You Just Weren’t The One” comes to mind!  As we grow, mature and live a bit our frame of thinking evolves. No one should be the same person as they were years ago. We are entitled to change because it’s inevitable. Think of your past relationships.  Are you the same person that you were when you first met your “soulmate”? I know that I’m not.

Early dating, relationships and even marriages may have conflicts of balancing career goals, family planning and beyond. Some people are headstrong in their careers and don’t even want to consider having children until they achieve their established goal within their career. Some get married and immediately have it figured out. Others don’t and that’s ok. Many of us often live within this imaginary timeline of goals. “You have to do this first and then that next.” But that’s not the reality of life.

Life happens and goals get altered. We may get passed over for that big promotion or our relationship may fall to the wayside. Our housing may drastically change and finances may decrease. There are multiple variables to why we may have to adjust to life differently. You can easily look into a person’s eyes and see a future of having kids, marriage, a home and more.  Years later you can look into those same eyes and see a totally different person before you. It happens.  

So I’m not frowning upon Jeannie Mai and her recent pregnancy news. I’m congratulating her!  She didn’t change her mind. Her previous spouse just wasn’t the right person. Her life map altered and her goals changed. We are all allowed to do so. We are governed by these firm standards that outside forces place on us or that we may even place on ourselves. It’s not you, it’s me. Sis said she’s reclaiming her time and re-evaluating her goals for family planning with her new bae; and I applaud that.

There’s beauty in seeing people live their life to the fullest with no constraints. We weren’t not entangled within her previous marriage, home or life. So we don’t know what the relationship dynamic was truly like so to see her smiling and living happily is priceless.  

Many struggle to find their identity after a failed relationship. But Jeannie Mai is starting over within her own path of love. She may have not been ready then but she is ready now. In our own relationships we must understand that a break-up is not life ending but rather life altering for a new path. It’s not over, it’s just beginning. Say thank you to the past relationships so you can move forward to walk into your happiness.

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